Dear Single Moms,
Over the past few years, I have seen an increasing number of messages and even cards that celebrate single moms on Father’s Day. Although I understand why single moms feel this way, I also think that we need to respect the integrity of Father’s Day. Before you get upset with me, let me tell you that I understand where you are coming from. I am a single mom of twins, and I am the only parent because the other parent walked out. Therefore, I know what it is like to feel like the mom and the dad. Side note, later this week I’m going to be sharing a post that talks about why I had to change my mindset. However, now I want to address Father’s Day.
When I was pregnant, I started to buy into the hype that I needed to celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I was upset and hurt at their dad for leaving, and I started to resent Father’s Day because it made me confront the hurt and fear that I had around the prospect of being a single mom. I wanted to claim Father’s Day as my own. However, once I thought about it, I realized that I was being selfish. I realized that instead of becoming bitter, angry, and resentful on this day, I should celebrate this day and be grateful. For example, I should celebrate my own dad who is an amazing man and an awesome grandfather.
We should also celebrate Father’s Day because although there are so many men who do not step up to be fathers, there are still those who are good fathers. These fathers deserve their day of celebration and recognition. Also, don’t limit the definition of father to the person who shares half of your children’s DNA. One of the Webster’s definitions of father is “a man who gives care and protection to someone or something.” This can be a grandfather, coach, teacher, uncle, cousin, or family friend who loves, protects, and cares for your children. Also, think about the people who are father figures in your child’s life and celebrate them.
You have the ability to write your own narrative for this day. You can be angry and bitter or you can find joy. You can celebrate the people in your life who support, help, and uplift you or you can harbor resentment towards the person who left. It’s up to you. Let the men have Father’s Day and you can celebrate and live it up on Mother’s Day and all of the other days of the year, because as a phenomenal mom, you deserve it.
Aisha Taylor is a single mom of twins, personal financial coach, work from home entrepreneur, and #1 Amazon Best Selling Author of the book “5+5 FNPhenomenal Ways to Save $100 This Week Without Killing Your Lifestyle.” Aisha has been featured in ESSENCE and Jet Magazine. She is also the Founder of FNPhenomenal (Frugal –n- Phenomenal), a movement designed to help single moms transform their finances, enjoy life, and stop living from paycheck-to-paycheck. It’s time for you to be Financially Phenomenal!