I started a YouTube channel! To get started, I set a goal to upload 2 videos per week to build the channel. One video per week is dedicated to teaching a Bible study. The other video is dedicated to sharing something personal to my single motherhood journey to show how God has been Father (Abba) to me in the hopes that it’ll teach you and also inspire you that you can trust God. However, one week (well truthfully for multiple weeks) I wasn’t walking in obedience to God – I didn’t do the weekly video about my personal journey of how God has been Father to me.
I wanted to share this with you, because one of the things that the Lord has been challenging me on is being vulnerable publicly even if it scares me. Be vulnerable even if it goes against what I’ve and others have constructed about me because of my Duke and University of Michigan, 6-figure corporate finance career pedigree, and my Certified Financial Planning training.
The Lord has been stripping me of my pride, leading by the accolades I’ve accomplished, defining myself by my achievements, and viewing myself as a past version of myself defined by all the best highlights of my life. I share this here on YouTube in the post, ”Don’t Allow Your Trauma to Cause You To Hide.”
Vulnerability terrifies me
The truth is vulnerability terrifies me. I get afraid of how people will think or even how I will feel after sharing publicly what I’ve been through privately. But I also know that we overcome through the blood of the lamb and by the words of our testimony (Revelations 12:11).
I tend to come up with so many reasons why I refuse to walk in obedience and be transparent and vulnerable. I came up with so many reasons why my book didn’t originally get released May 2019 like it was supposed to (and why I sit for weeks and even years on the things God says to share). My reasons seamed reasonable, but the truth was I was afraid. I was afraid to be transparent about how emotionally difficult it was and how emotionally broken I was for years. And truthfully the work I still do today to find joy and healing.
I love a great overcomer story so I love sharing the overcoming, but what truly is an overcoming story without knowing the background. My expertise is in finances and strategy – personal and business finances and strategy. But who I am really if the person who is supposed to have the answers and does this for a living doesn’t have the answers for herself. Who am I?
Therapy for single moms is essential
Truthfully, this is something I’m processing now in therapy and counseling. If I don’t define myself by my accolades (and yes there are many …and do you see that I couldn’t resist adding that) and if I don’t define myself by motherhood then who am I? Sometimes I don’t know.
I know this is a big reason the Lord pushed me to launch the pre-order of “Navigating the ‘Impossible’: A Survival Guide for Single Moms from Pregnancy Through the First Year of Motherhood” publicly – to hold me accountable to do what he said to do. To give hope to single moms who don’t know their next step, who don’t know what motherhood means for their finances, who see themselves with an unexpected pregnancy facing abandonment and starting the question in the face, ”What’s next for me?”
The book, “Navigating the ‘Impossible’: A Survival Guide for Single Moms from Pregnancy Through the First Year of Motherhood” is as much of a roadmap as it is a personal testimonial of how God is Abba Father.
God literally plucked me out of a 3-year depression, crying on the floor for days at a time in the fetal position with “Jesus” being the only words I could speak because I was in so much pain, stuck, and having no idea what to do next. So I know what it’s like to feel hopeless, unloved, and worthless.
I know what it’s like to watch everything that I’ve built over the years that I’ve defined myself by crumble right in front of my face to be left with nothing according to the world’s standards – except or wasn’t nothing. I had God, my children, family, the destiny helpers He placed in my path, and my car. So from a worldly perspective I had nothing. But from a spiritual perspective I was rich and I learned (and am still learning and at times complain and stress way more than I should) that was is God Jehovah-Jireh my provider. However, it’s beautiful being able to see God’s faithfulness in the rebuilding and everything that He’s done.
Things aren’t impossible like it may seem
I pray that “Navigating the ‘Impossible’: A Survival Guide for Single Moms from Pregnancy Through the First Year of Motherhood” radiates hope from its pages and lets you know that you don’t have to have it all figured out, but in Christ nothing is impossible. Your single mom journey is possible. Although the book focuses on what I learned in the early parts of motherhood starting from pregnancy through my first 2-3 years of motherhood to give you a roadmap for how to navigate pregnancy through your first or second years of motherhood, I can tell you I’m 7 years in and I’ve seen the faithfulness of the Lord.
This is why I can sit here and say that He will never leave you nor forsake you. He has a purpose and a plan for you and your children. It’s something I’ve learned on my journey and something I continue to learn in a deeper less surface level way.
I have absolutely no idea why I was led to share this super long soliloquy of emotions. I have theories, but I don’t know for sure. I do know that I’m tired of being a prisoner to the stories I tell myself and the image I created of who I thought I should be and who others thought I should be. I’m ready to be free. This is why this book has to come out. I’ve been praying for years for the ladies who would read it and have hope and joy. I never imagined it would also unlock my own freedom in the process.
I do hope is that someone reads this gets inspired that God hasn’t abandoned you. He still loves you and your journey it’s not over yet. Your best days aren’t behind you, and you don’t have to look at those days as if you are nothing without them. But rather your best days are ahead of you if you don’t quit.
Aisha Taylor is a single mom of twins, personal financial coach, work from home entrepreneur, and author of “Navigating the ‘Impossible’: A Survival Guide for Single Moms from Pregnancy Through the First Year of Motherhood.” Aisha has been featured in ESSENCE, Jet Magazine, and Black Enterprise. She is also the Founder of FNPhenomenal (Frugal –n- Phenomenal), a movement designed to equip single moms develop the strategy to live whole, financially free, and rooted in Jesus Christ.