As a mom have you ever struggled to find enough time during the day to do the things that you need to do for yourself and your children? I work from home so it’s hard to strike the perfect balance between working and being a mom. I’m pulled in between the need to tend to my kids, the mommy guilt of wanting to play with them, and also the practical need to do work so I can earn an income. I admit, that I learned how to effectively multi-task. I can write a blog post, check email, and take phone calls while breastfeeding or holding my twins. Lately, I noticed that when I am holding my twins and find myself on my phone or watching television, I will feel a tap or hear a whimper. At first, I dismissed it as me needing to change positions or a pacifier fell, but I noticed that seemed to happen when I wasn’t being present. I mentioned my observations to my father and he said the same thing happens to him.
That’s when I realized that my twins were teaching me a lesson about basic human needs. We spend so much time caught up in what we are doing that sometimes we forget to be present. We think that being physically present is enough. Physical presence is part of it, but being attentive is critical. Think about it. Have you ever been out to dinner and everyone at the table is on their phone? Have you been out with a friend, but every time their phone rang the person not just stopped to see who was calling or texting, they also responded? How did it make you feel? Did it make you feel like you were less important than the person on the phone?
I know that as a single mom, it’s not practical for me to be fully present with my children 100% of the day. I do have to work, run errands, do laundry, etc. but what I am committed to doing is carving out mommy and me time throughout the day so they don’t feel like they have to compete for my attention. When I am breastfeeding or holding them, I now focus on them or pray for them despite the temptation to try to use that time to catch up on emails and writing or doing other things. It is super hard, and I don’t get it right 100% of the time. However, the most important thing is that I am aware and am making strides to do better when I can.
I have also taken those lessons to be more present with others as well. I leave my phone in my purse so I’m not tempted to check my phone while I’m having a conversation with someone. I focus on what I am doing at that moment in time so I can show the person that they are valued.
I’m still testing out my new method of chunking out my day for work and mommy activities. As I learn more, I will definitely share! For additional ideas about how to be present for your children, check out these posts from iMOM about what you should do for your kids every day and how to interact with sons. Click here and here to read.
If you want more tips and resources, then check out this FREE grocery reduction challenge to help you to cut your grocery and takeout bill so you can have more money for the things you love! Click here to join the challenge!
Aisha Taylor is a single mom of twins, personal financial coach, work from home entrepreneur, and #1 Amazon Best Selling Author of the book “5+5 FNPhenomenal Ways to Save $100 This Week Without Killing Your Lifestyle.” Aisha has been featured in ESSENCE, Jet Magazine, and Black Enterprise. She is also the Founder of FNPhenomenal (Frugal –n- Phenomenal), a movement designed to help single moms create a vision for their lives, craft a financial strategy to support that vision, and show them that phenomenal living is possible. It’s time for you to be Financially Phenomenal!
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